Before you say “I do” or plan your baby shower, pause. Let’s talk. As women, we are often raised to dream of weddings and babies, but no one really prepares us for the weight that comes after the white dress and the cute newborn onesies. This isn’t to scare you; it’s to prepare you. Marriage and motherhood are beautiful—yes—but they can also be overwhelming, disorienting, and even lonely if you’re not grounded. So, before you step into this next chapter, here are three things you absolutely must do for your sanity, success, and survival.
1. Choose the Right Partner—Not Just the Right Vibe/9
Let’s start with the obvious but most ignored: who you marry matters. Sis, love is sweet, but it can’t cook dinner or change diapers at 2 a.m.
MANY WOMEN SEE THE RED FLAGS—
emotional unavailability, lack of empathy, poor communication—but brush them aside because, “He’ll change,” or “We’ve come too far.” The truth is, marriage magnifies character. If he’s selfish or unserious before marriage, don’t assume a wedding ring will turn him into a new man. Choosing the right person is foundational because a wrong partner will make you question your worth, your sanity, and even your dreams. Be honest with yourself and don’t ignore the signs.
Who you maarry matters!
2. Have a Clear Personal Plan Before You Become ‘Mummy’
You were someone before you became a wife or a mother—don’t forget her. Too many women dive into marriage and motherhood without a personal roadmap. Then life happens, and suddenly you’re five years in, unsure of who you are outside your family. Have a plan. What are your career goals, personal dreams, creative passions? Write them down. Think of how to pursue them even if it’s slowly. Life won’t pause because you had kids, and you shouldn’t put your dreams on permanent hold either. If you don’t carve out your own identity, motherhood will swallow you whole and leave you wondering where the old you went.
3. Get Help—You’re Not a Superhero, and That’s Okay
This one is loud and clear: GET HELP. There is no crown for doing it all alone. No award for the most hardworking mom- and I wish I knew this earlier on. The mental and physical toll of motherhood is no joke. And if your husband isn’t domesticated or emotionally available, your journey will be ten times harder. Some men don’t want house help, yet they won’t lift a finger either—not to cook, not to carry a crying baby, not even to say, “You’re doing great, babe.” Before marriage, talk about roles. Talk about expectations. Talk about help—paid or otherwise. Normalize delegating. Whether it’s a nanny, cleaner, or even a meal prep service, your peace is worth investing in. Don’t carry what will crush you.
